The Winter Soldier Does Not Like Bath Gel
by Justonestory
Summary: Natasha takes Bucky/Winter Soldier to the mall. He is happy till they reach Bath and Body Works.


I am using the idea that The Winter Soldier/Bucky has been with the Avengers for a few months and is pretty much human again. Yet he still sees himself as The Winter Soldier like people call Banner the Hulk.

* * *

The Winter Soldier did not like bath gel.

This he found out through trial and error.

The Winter Soldier was in the Avenger's tower. He liked reading through National Geographic. He figured he liked being able to read and know about the entire Earth without ever having to leave his spot on the couch. Sure, he could flip on the TV, but it didn't have the same effect when people were talking at him, or he had to quickly look before they changed the screen. With the magazine, he could look at the same scene without it ever having to change.

He was admiring the Himalayas when Natasha tapped him on the shoulder. "Hey, Bucky. I'm headed to the mall. Cap figured it might be an interesting experience for you. Wanna come along?" The Soldier nodded and carefully marked his spot with a tear off the subscription ad.

The mall was big. There were lots of little shops at every corner, and new sights, smells, and sounds at every shop. A calendar shop, a pretzel shop, lots of shoe shops. But no food shops. The Winter Soldier figured that was because that was because there were really big stores dedicated to food.

Natasha took him through a store called Hallmark. There were lots of little figurines on the walls, some sang little melodies when you spun the tiny crank on the bottom. There were also little figurines of… he Avengers. The Soldier was surprised to see the Hulk and the Captain, Tony and Thor all lined up perfectly, yet very tiny. Natasha sighed roughly looking at it, then dragged the Soldier to some greeting cards, "Clint's birthday is coming up."

There were a lot of them. Like hundreds. Probably more. He spent a long time going through them all. Some were sympathy. Some were humour. Some were blank and just had painted flowers. Natasha chose one that had Robin Hood on it and said, "A red-hot fox holding bow? It's exactly perfect to Clint!" The Winter Soldier didn't see how he matched to a fox, but it wasn't his decision, anyway.

As they were leaving, Natasha spotted a store with pink lights and bottles of different colors on display. She gasped and said she remembered she was running low on something called "body butter." This completely confused the Soldier, but a lot of things did, so he just followed.

As soon as they stepped in the doorway, it was like walking into a wall of flowery scent. The Soldier nearly gagged on the wafting of "_Beautiful Day_" or "_Cherry Blossom_" and lots of other strange names. He struggled to see the connection between a scent and a good day. He began walking out of the store when Natasha showed him a bottle that read _"Warm Vanilla._" She squeezed the bottle just enough that a small jet of scented air blew in his face. The Soldier blinked.

"Wanna try it? It's lotion." He was confused enough that he held up his hands at the offering, not fully knowing what to expect. She squirted some white goo into his hands.

The Soldier never used lotion, not that he could remember anyway. He stared down at the oily goo in his hands, not sure what to do. He looked up to Natasha who was waiting for him to do something. "Well, rub your hands together!" The Soldier then began rubbing his palms together like one might to twirl a stick to start a fire. Natasha seemed to realize the issue and poured some lotion in her hands and showed him the motions. The Soldier copied until the substance was equally spread along his hands.

He held his hands out away from his face, unsure of what to expect. They felt greasy. The Soldier was not fond of the sensation. Natasha asked him if he liked the scent, he said no, so she scoffed and walked away. While he felt a tad sad about displeasing her, he was more focused on getting the grease off his hands. He looked around the shop to see that 90% of the people there were female. He felt out of place as he found a sink to wash his hands.

There were more fragranced bottles around the sink that had big, red stickers that said "TRY ME!" on them. He ran the water on his hands to find it just beaded up without taking anything off. The Soldier reached for a bottle that said "_Deep Cleansing Japanese Cherry." _Perhaps if it was deep cleansing it would work. He hoped it would work.

After some firm scrubbing, most of the lotion was cleaned off. He began to walk towards the exit when Natasha sprayed a mist in his face. For half a moment the Soldier wondered if this was some kind of tranquilizer, then he acknowledged the strong scent. He coughed and waved around his hand. "Like that one?" Natasha asked.

He held his mouth open in shock and confusion. "No?" Natasha asked. "What about this one? It's Warm Vanilla." She squeezed a bottle in his face a little too hard. A spray of bath gel flew in his face and his eyes. The Soldier yelped and rubbed his eyes with his index finger and thumb.

What was this place, anyway?! People spray things in your face, there are greasy bottles of lotion lining every wall, the smell was enough to give a person a headache, and frankly, the pink lights were irritating. The Soldier walked out of the shop, telling Natasha he was going to wait in the car. He stopped by the bathroom on the way out to rinse his eyes out.

Back at the tower, Natasha came back with a heavy back full of jars and bottles, mumbling things about "was hardly a drop" and "was an accident anyway." Hawkeye came up and put his arm around the Soldier.

"Sorry you had to go through that, Buck. If I'd known, would've warned you." Hawkeye squeezed his shoulder and walked to the kitchen. As the Soldier was walking back to his bedroom, Tony walked by and sniffed. "Wha-Why do you smell like a fairy?" The Soldier ignored him and walked towards the shower. And he wouldn't use bath gel. Ever again.

* * *

I think of Natasha as a Warm Vanilla or Japanese Blossom girl.

It's always just that: The Hulk, Iron Man, Thor, and Captain America. Nobody appreciates Clint or Natasha.


End file.
